New fashion, a "tutu head"!They say you should listen to your teens. How about listening to your toddlers, preschoolers, 1st graders, etc.? I mean really listen to what they are telling you, or most of the time trying to tell you. We are so busy with our everyday lives and countless chores that all that "chattering" so often goes unnoticed or not really paid attention to.
I admit, I am guilty of that myself. With so much already going on during my day, at times it feels I have reached my brain's capacity. I have given up on listening to music for relaxation purposes. Music (read here "noise") does not relax me anymore. Silence relaxes me. When all our kids are in bed, finally, I really appreciate piece and quiet, the rare opportunity to get my thought together, recharge my brain and reflect on the day.
So, when sometimes one of our girls comes to me while I am cooking dinner, or trying to quickly do some other things around the house while the baby is taking a nap and I really NEED certain things to be completed, and she tries to tell me something, my mind is somewhere else and I just say "OK", or "really?", or "that's great". But in reality I didn't give much thought to what my child was trying to tell me, or effort to try to understand and engage in continuous conversation to feed their fire of curiosity.
I do feel bad afterwards and do promise myself not to do it again, and do realize I am doing it again a few days later. That's just how it is. It is not how I want it to be and that is why I am writing this post. It bothers me and I am trying to work on myself to change that approach so it doesn't become a habit. And that's when the roles reverse and my children become my teachers again.
Since I do not each any of my girls' classes at the homeschooling co-op we are attending every Wednesday, it is hard for me to grasp the whole picture of their day at the co-op, when they happily chat away in the car on our way home. I know in general what they are saying, but I am missing a lot of the details. And details are important. We are homeschoolers, and I know exactly what our girls know, what they wouldn't know, how they'd react to different things and situations. I can predict certain patterns of their behavior in those situations and influence it if I need to. I know our girls well, and that gives me great comfort and confidence.
And that made me wonder about families that spend most of their time apart from each other and get to see the kids for a short time in a day during dinner (if that) and then over the weekend. How well do they know their kids and if it is an issue for them at all. Again, they say listen to your teens, they might have something important to share with you. My point here is that we have to listen to our children in general, regarding of their age.
Listen to the newborn's first "cooing" and "aaing", and enjoying every minute of it, paying close attention to a new tone, and higher pitch, a different squeak. I mean really listen!It is the baby talking to us, telling us very important things for him! Telling us those things in the very best way he can!
Listen to a toddler's constant blabbing, as she is trying to show us what a big girl she has become. Listen to that subtle curiosity in her voice and provide that positive encouragement by trying to understand her and repeat her words.
Listen to a 4 year old, while she is jumping on the sofa, making millions moves with all the movable body parts and chatting away meanwhile. And if you really listen, you'll hear amazing things to your own astonishment.
Listen to a 7 year old when she talks about feeling happy while playing her violin and that some notes remind her of Mom, and some remind her of Tata, and there are notes that remind her of her sisters and a baby brother.
Listening is good. It gives you prospective, teaches you to see things, enjoy life and cherish every day with your kids!
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