Family blessing.

I have just finished reading a book "The Blessing", by Gary Smalley and John Trent, Ph.D. and decided to share the most important highlights of the book.

The flower can not grow unless it has the necessary elements of life. Every flower needs soil, air, water, light, and a secure place to grow, one where its roots are not constantly pulled out. When these five basic ingredients are present, it is almost impossible to keep a flower from growing.

Just like the basic needs a flower has, the family blessing also has five key elements. These five elements, blend together, can cause personal acceptance to blossom and grow in our home today. Each individual part provides a unique contribution.

A family blessing begins with meaningful touch. Meaningful touching has many beneficial effects. The act of touch is a key to communicate warmth, personal acceptance, affirmation-even physical health.

The second element of family blessing is based on a spoken message. In many homes today, words of love and acceptance are seldom head. A tragic misconception parents in these homes share is that simply being present communicates the blessing. Nothing could be further from the truth. A blessing becomes so only when it is spoken. Children who are left to fill in the blanks when it comes to what their parents think about them will often fail the test when it comes to feeling valuable and secure.

Meaningful touch and a spoken message, these two elements lead up to the words of blessing themselves, words of high value. Telling children that they are valuable can be difficult for many parents due to the busy schedule, or by only attaching the words of value only to a child's performance.

A fourth element of the family blessing is picturing a special future for the kids. When it comes to predictions about their future, children are literalistic-particularly when they hear predictions from their parents. When ones feels in his or her heart that the future is hopeful and something to look forward to , it can greatly affect his or her attitude in life. Words that picture a special future act like a campfire on a dark night. They can draw a person toward the warmth of genuine concern and fulfilled potential. Instead of leaving a child to head into a dark unknown, they can illuminate a pathway lined with hope and purpose.

The last element of the blessing pictures the responsibility that goes with giving the blessing. The active commitment is very important, because words alone cannot communicate the blessing; they need to be backed with a commitment to do everything possible to help the one blessed be successful. We can tell a child, "You have the talent to be a very good pianist."But, if we neglect to provide a piano for that child to practice on, our lack of commitment has undermined our message.

These are things I will always keep in mind...