There was so much to read on the Carnival of Homeschooling , that I had troubles processing all that information and ideas. I had to take breaks and go wash dishes, or put the toys away, or put the laundry on the line outside. Then I'd come back and read more. And again I needed some time to digest all I'd read. I've never had problems falling asleep, and the last two nights I just couldn't close my eyes. Everything was so mixed up in my head that I felt like I was drugged up!
Now I feel that things in my head are settling down slowly and I feel...empty. Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around? I was ready to get more encouraged, enthusiastic and inspired. But I feel empty, lost, overwhelmed, scared, doubtful...
I've checked so many homeschooling blogs and read up on how other families do it. And I started to compare... We've never bought any software or video games to teach Ivana shapes, colors, letters and numbers. She knows them anyway just by me reading books and spending time with her. We picked up once a book in the library "I can count 100 bunnies, and so can you" (don't remember the author), kept it for a months and she learnt to count to 100 and recognize the numbers everywhere we go. One of our favourite games is "A license plate game". When we go to the park, store, library, bank we stop by every car, and Ivana tells me the numbers. Then I showed her how to say 3 digit numbers, and she was so excited to pass the 100 border. A couple of times we saw a car with 4 digits, and with sincere curiosity she asked me how to say those.
We've never used any flash cards or posters for the wall with letters or numbers. And I have only one book to teach her to read in Russian. It's a specially designed book for that purpose, though, but it's our only resource to learn to read. And she is thriving! Every day we sit down on a sofa for 20 minutes (Leona right next to us, trying to imitate Ivana) and practice. Ivana has been doing so great lately, that she doesn't want to stop. She easily reads 3-4 syllable words, full sentences and short stories. And Russian alphabet is not Latin, but Cyrillic, so think of another 33 letters to memorize for that little brain.
The other day we were doing our own clay beads. In the morning we rolled the clay into different shapes, then I put them into the oven to bake to harden. After lunch we started decorating them, painting different colors with acrylic paint. Leona fell asleep right next to us, put her cute little head on the table and dosed off. And Ivana was so concentrated coloring her beads, that she didn't ask any questions for about 20 minutes. So we were both busy doing our stuff, and occasionally she'd whisper a comment on my design and ask for my opinion on hers. It was just priceless! I felt so comfortable doing that simple activity with my daughter. At that moment she was my best friend. That kind of friend that you are comfortable with being silent, when you don't have to search for another topic to keep the conversation going and feel awkward in silence.
I have not picked any curriculum or looked at any. I have not thought about the plan for the next year. I have not identified myself with any homeschooling method. I have not signed her up for any homeschooling workshops. I have not found any Homeschooling Convention to attend. I feel that I've done a lot preparing myself for homeschooling our kids, but not enough. Unwillingly I have planted a seed of doubt in myself. I feel empty, lost, overwhelmed, scared, doubtfu... I will not let that seed sprout! No way!
4 comments:
Sorry to hear you are feeling confused.
No two families homeschool in the same way. No two children within the same family experience learning in the same way.
Today I was telling a friend that I was so afraid about teaching reading to my older son that I bought a lot of stuff. That was back when my husband was working and we could afford it. I tried curriculum A and it failed so I tried B and it failed then curriculum C worked. I still own lots of games and stuff to teach reading which I never did get around to using with that son.
Then my second son (who I thought I'd use all the stuff on), learned at a younger age and with such ease that I didn't use 90% of the 'teaching reading' stuff that I have on hand.
Now I am surrounded by this 'stuff' which is cluttering up my house and trying to figure out how I can resell it to recoup some money (especially now since we have no income).
I don't know the age of your two daugters. If they are under grade 4 then these are a MUST READ that are easy, fast, and really reinforce that you don't need a lot of stuff to teach everything a child needs to know from birth through the end of third grade for reading, penmanship, writing, grammar, and math. It is called "The Three R's" by Ruth Beechich and what it is is a packet of 3 little 28 page booklets.
Hang in there and try not to feel overwhelmed.
There are a lot of products out there that are not needed. Yes, I did own books that taught shapes and colors, and computer games, but that is not how my kids actually learned them, LOL. My older son learned his colors and the numbers 1-10 while talking about Thomas train toys!
Learning to trust yourself and your instincts is perhaps the most challenging part of homeschooling. I think the most important thing for homeschooling is listening to your children and being willing to follow their interests instead of someone else's idea of what they should learn. Don't sweat about curriculum--we do buy some formal curriculum, but I think we use our library card even more than our curriculum. It's great to get ideas from others, but try not to compare yourself with others. Think instead of all the wonderful advantages your children have: three languages, two interesting and loving parents, and the joy of spending most of their time with their own family. What a wonderful education!
Julia - the other comments here sum it up very well. You are doing a wonderful job and every family will have their own way.
You might want to submit *this* post to the next Carnival of Homeschooling - I'm sure many, many people can identify with how you feel.
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